WHEN WILL YOU MARRY?!

I don’t know why this question almost feels like an attack! Especially when it’s coming from an African aunty who loves to over-insert herself into my business. I’m in my 30s, so being asked about my love life—or lack thereof—isn’t exactly a surprise. You know how the traditional stages of life go: school graduation, career, husband, kids, and then fairytale happily ever after, right?

I really don’t know how to respond to that loaded question. When someone asks, When will you marry? what they’re really asking is: When will you settle? When will you compromise? When will you stop waiting for something extraordinary and just take what’s available? But for a woman who understands her worth, the question takes on a deeper meaning

Tems - Boy oh Boy

I know that it comes from a good place—friends and family just want you to find someone to lighten the load, to be emotional and physical support. I’m not against getting married; in fact, I strongly believe in the sacrament of marriage and that God has given those whose ministry is marriage a perfect partner for them. What I am opposed to is the idea that once you hit a certain age or milestone, finding a spouse should be your next call to action. The streets are cold—people shouldn’t rush you, or else…

Marriage, for such a woman, is not just about companionship or societal expectations; it’s about alignment. It’s about finding a partner who doesn’t just share her last name but shares her vision, her values, and her understanding of what it means to walk in purpose. It’s about recognising that a good spouse isn’t just a romantic partner, they are a destiny helper

Why Women Who Value Themselves May Take Longer

1. They Know Their PurposeA woman who knows she was created for more than just existing understands that her partner will either propel her forward or hold her back. She’s not just looking for love—she’s looking for alignment. She’s waiting for the person who will aid, support, and enhance her God-given mission, not distract from it.

2. They Refuse to Settle for LessSociety often pressures women to believe that time is running out. But a woman of value knows that settling for the wrong partner is far worse than waiting for the right one. She’s not willing to trade her peace for convenience, her dreams for comfort, or her self-respect for societal approval.

3. They Recognise Marriage as a Partnership, Not Just a TitleA wedding is one day; a marriage is a lifetime. Women who are deeply connected to their purpose understand that who they marry will directly impact their success, emotional well-being, and spiritual growth. They are not looking for someone just to take pictures with, but someone to build with

4. They Have Healed & Grown First So many people rush into relationships out of fear, loneliness, or pressure. A woman who truly values herself takes the time to heal, to learn, and to grow into the person she was meant to be. She knows that a healthy, fulfilling marriage requires two whole individuals, not two incomplete people trying to fix each other. We are always getting better but there are some fundamental parts of yourself that need to be figured out

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   @misiafrica

   
   
   
   

There is Beauty in Waiting

The waiting season is often seen as a period of lack, but for a woman on a mission, it’s a period of preparation. It’s a time to deepen her faith, refine her character, build her vision, and continue becoming the best version of herself. The wait is not punishment, i see it much more as protection. Protection from heartbreak, from misalignment, and from relationships that could derail her from the life she was called to live

So, the next time someone asks, When will you marry? understand that they may not fully get the depth of what you’re building. Marriage, for women like us (boss babes who live intentionally), is not a race to the altar but a commitment to a purposeful life. And when the right partner comes, one who sees, values, and aligns with your purpose—you’ll know. Until then, you build, you grow, and you trust in divine timing

How about we rephrase this question huh? the question isn’t When will you marry? but, "When will the right person recognise the value of building a life with you?"

Godspeed

Misi ✨